Friday, 9 May 2008

Friday Night Jokes

It has become a bit of thing over on UKS that I do at least one joke every Friday night on the threads I belong to, so I thought why not share a few with my fellow bloggers and see if I can make you titter :)

Here you go...

  • A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.

  • 'Human Beings are the only animals that stutter', she says.

  • A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered', She volunteered.

  • The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

  • 'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'

  • 'That must've been scary', said the teacher.

  • 'It sure was', said the little girl. 'My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... And before he could say 'F**k', the Rottweiler ate him!

  • 'The teacher wet her pants laughing.......

So funny, makes me smile everytime I read it especially as I have my own kitty lol.

Another one...

The Three Little Pigs

  • Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.

  • The waiter came and took their drink order.

  • "I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.

  • "I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.

  • "I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

  • The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.

  • "I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.

  • "I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.

  • "I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

  • The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

  • "I want a banana split," said the first piggy.

  • "I want a cheesecake," said the second piggy.

  • "I want beer, lots and lots of beer," exclaimed the third little piggy.

  • "Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy," But why have you only ordered beer all evening?"

You're gonna LOVE me for this....

The third piggy says - "Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home'! "



dddeeebbbzzz said...

Great jokes! I haven't heard either before! If you want another laugh have a look at my Blooming Pages challenge LO - I blogged it yesterday!

Shirley said...

Thanks for the friday night laugh Claire :)

Inspiration Alley said...

Thanks for the laugh. Will print them of and show my husband.

Tracey said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the warm welcome to Gotta craft, so glad I came by today, you have had me in stitches, thanks for the laugh, have a fab weekend XXX

mandijane said...

OMG Claire.....I just about splurged my coffee all over my laptop....
And that pig picture rocks.....

Debsg said...